written by Matt
Goodbyes are hard — like really hard. This last month we’ve had to say so many, and every one felt like a stake through the heart.
From the Pacific Ocean to the Long Island Sound; from new homes in new places to old homes in old places; from great friends we just met to best friends we’ve known forever, we experienced the same heartbreak over and over again. And it didn’t get easier the more we did it.
But actually, surprisingly, I’m OK with that.
When goodbyes are hard, I remember a quip I heard once at Circle of Hope, my anabaptist sanctuary in Philadelphia: “all change requires loss, and all loss ought to be greived.” If all the beautiful change in our lives comes with mourning along the way, I treat that mourning as proof of the good to come.
Big Thief’s song Change reminds me why change is good. Katie and I spent a lot of time listening to this one in which Lenker sings, “Would you stare forever at the sun/Never watch the moon rising?/Would you walk forever in the light/To never learn the secret of the quiet night?” Lenker’s lyrics challenge us to stay grounded in the truth that change is a natural, necessary, good part of existence.
In fact, one of the most noticeable themes on our goodbye tour was all the wonderful change happening amongst friends and families: new apartments, new cities, new homes. It felt like everyone we talked to was going through some kind of watershed moment in their lives. That’s awesome! Even if it feels a little sad too.
We’re so excited about the change we’re going through right now, and we’re excited to share our journey with you through this blog. We’ll write and share whenever we find the time, and we’re so glad you’re here to read along with us.
Below you’ll find stories and images from our goodbye tour.
We started saying our goodbyes at the end of August at the westernmost point of the continental US: Port Orford, Oregon. At this bastion of beauty, we hunted shells, admired redwoods, explored a fog-laden peninsula, and shared home-cooked meals with Katie’s family.
Cape Blanco lighthouse at about 3:30pm. Completely covered in fog! 
Running back east from the westernmost point of the westernmost incorporated town in the continental US 
Beautiful views from the Port Orford Heads 
Me, Katie, and Metolius at the Heads 
Battle Rock beach 
A hermit crab in the sand 
An anemone in an accessible tide pool 
I had never seen a freshwater stream feed into the ocean 
Katie’s inside a tree! At the redwoods in Northern Cal. 
Me and Metolius (he’s more focused on the views) 
Great little co-op in town
Back in Redmond, we stopped at hot springs along the McKenzie river, swam in the Deschutes River, played with beautiful black lab Metolius, and finally said farewell over funfetti cake to Katie’s grandparents, her brother, her step-dad, and her mom.
Next up we flew back to Los Angeles for a hectic week of packing, selling, and more heart-wrenching goodbyes. On our last night, we had drinks with our neighbor Emily and her frenchie Turtle. Emily was just about the first person we met in Los Angeles, and I feel extremely lucky that she was. She shared her genuine, kind spirit generously with us from day 1. I could barely hold back tears as we said goodbye well after midnight, just hours before our 5am flight to Philadelphia.
In Philadelphia, we shared delicious food and great drinks with my mom and dad in West Chester, before heading to Radnor to visit our friend Jade. We shared lots of laughs, ideas, and drinks, like we always seem to do with Jade. She’s an awesome friend and I’m indebted to Katie for having met her. Wishing her all the best as she moves to Fishtown.
A few days later, we went to a bougie new King of Prussia apartment to see my best-friend-since-kindergarten Andrew, his girlfriend Ashley, their dog Clyde, and their cat Oliver.
We also visited friends Connor and Sarah in their newly rented Grey’s Ferry house (so much new stuff happening amongst friends!). We’d see them again in a few days on Lake Harmony near Scranton, but no matter how much time we have with Connor and Sarah, it’s never enough. Connor’s the reason we ended up in Los Angeles, after all, and he’s been as true a friend as I could ask for since we met in 2020, right before the pandemic hit.
After a quick visit to the University of Maryland (Katie’s alma mater), Bethesda (her home town), and nearby Washington D.C. (see the GIF below of Gravelly Point where you can watch planes take off), we made our way up to my hometown, Scranton, PA.
In Scranton, my brother David and sister-in-law Nicole were beginning their own new chapter in a new home. We helped them move in during the few days we were there. The move was exhausting, but I actually enjoyed getting to kick-start their exciting new chapter. And I can’t emphasize enough how meaningful it was to say goodbye to all my grandparents in-person.
Finally, we headed to New York City, where we crashed with my sister Alanna, her boyfriend Michael, and their dog Czar for a few nights. I’m so thankful to have a supportive network of friends and family who made saying goodbye so difficult. Thank you all for your hospitality and support. We miss you all sorely!
At JFK airport we boarded our flight to London and, after a few sleeping pills, arrived safely. More on that trip later!
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